i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Randomize
