We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
