So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
If its not for food we ain't going out.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
