I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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