im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
