Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
