I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
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