If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
porn star boner night. come get it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Boobs speak an international language.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
