i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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