I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize