well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
