i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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