Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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