my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
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