So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
