what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
