Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Your penis caused this!
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