oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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