He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
