I felt like helen keller
But she could have totally found that shit before me
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
