just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize