the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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