why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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