I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
