Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
That accounts for only three of the penises
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
