You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
