Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Randomize
