We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
