I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
