Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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