:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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