My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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