Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
