well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
