I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize