Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Randomize
