and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Randomize
