Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
