i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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