Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
