Fuck appropriateness.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I will pee on everything he values.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
