what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I believe in your delicious
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
