: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
