i jhust puked up my retainher.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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