Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
