She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
