Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Dignity is for republicans.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
