Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
