was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
