that's an acceptable place to lick
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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