Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
