is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
this beer tastes like vomit already
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
