its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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