I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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