i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
