youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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