What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
Randomize
