Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
