just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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