this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
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