Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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