omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
