i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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